The Phelps Family

Remembering...

2010-07-31T10:52:00.000-07:00

There are people in my life that I feel so blessed to have been loved by, but there was something special about the love from my father.

He was a very strong man, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He came from a rough childhood filled with grief and sadness and even still he knew to how to love and care for the thing he loved the most... His family.

Until recently, I didn't know a lot about his family, but after researching via ancestry.com I was able to trace my father's family history back... way back.. back to Angola, Africa!

My father was born after the Great Depression into a family dynamic that was filled with turmoil. His mother was a widow by her first marriage at the age of 18. She had two small children from that marriage and then she remarried and at the age of 24 had my father. The illness, tuberculoses, destroyed my grandmothers family and when my dad was 7 years old his mother died from it and he was sent to live with his father's mother.

Like my father's mother's family, his father's family was not immune to turmoil either. He was one of 9 children of which only 4 lived to adulthood.

Both of my grandparents lived through the great depression and that "way of living" was passed on to my father.

I have to say that looking back on my childhood there are few things I would change. I was raised in a Christian home by two God fearing parents. They provided everything I needed, emphasis on NEEDED. I grew up in a home that oozed pride for our country, something that I am still very proud of.

My father was my rock and strength. He showed me how to be loved and cared for, something that I am eternally grateful for.

As I look back on the things I have written here it is hard for me to believe that it has been 7 years since my dad passed away. I can remember every moment of that day, August 1, 2003. Bryan and I were in Mobile, AL working M-Fuge. It was the last day of campers, we were preparing to leave the next day to return home, and I was out returning something to one of my sites and my mom called and said that Dad wasn't feeling well and was going to the hospital. Knowing what a strong man my dad was I didn't think much of at the time but as soon as I hung up the phone I burst into tears. I think I realize now that at that moment God was preparing me for what I would hear only a matter of minutes later. I immediately called Bryan who was across campus and told him what mom had said. He came to our cottage and just held me and loved me, and cared for me just as my dad had always done. About an hour passed and Bryan called home to KY and the voice on the other end of the phone muttered the words that I never thought I would hear. I mean I had thought about what it might be like losing one of my parents, but never expected it to be something that would happened before they were grandparents. Even still, Bryan received that message and turned to me and said, "He didn't make it.." I didn't know what to do so I just let out a groan from the pit of my being and pounded my fist on the bed that I was laying across.. After that moment things became confusing. It was almost like I had to keep reminding myself that it had happened. My dad was gone... he died... even still it sounds strange to say. I immediately thought in that moment that Mom needed me. I had to get home which was 10 hours away so we started packing our belongings to head home. I can remember putting things away and then this feeling of exhaustion would come over me.. so much so that I would lay down and fall asleep.. right in the middle of the floor. I would then wake up and have to remember all over again that dad was gone, a cycle that would haunt me for months to come. It took us a day and a half to get home to Kentucky. We were greeted by family and friends ready to give us hugs. I remember wanting to talk about it but feeling like I had to be the "strong one" now. I showed emotion but only when I felt I could. Most of the time I could hold it together but when I was alone with Bryan I would feel so free and peaceful to just express how I felt and cry and scream if I needed to.. whatever I dished out Bryan could take.

The day of the funeral came and I remember arriving at the church to celebrate his life and being froze in the car... I remember saying, "I don't want to do this." I think now I just didn't know how to do it. How do you say goodbye to someone who gave you the strength to stand, someone that loved every breath you breathed, someone that literally would give his life for yours, someone that was the most earthly example of Gods unfailing love. So I decided I didn't have to say goodbye... I would see him again. This was not a "goodbye".. this was a celebration of who my dad was. This was the opportunity God had given me and my family to know just what my dad was. So I entered the church the first person I met was a guy my brother went to school with. He was Marine and said that he owed a lot of that life decision to my father and his character. I thanked him and felt over come with pride.

The casket was covered with the American Flag and standing at either end was a Marine and a Police Officer, the two things that made my dad who he was. We started receiving people and I started to realize what this day was all about. Story after story of how these people knew my dad and what he meant to them or how his words or actions changed their life. Everyone from long time family friends to people dad had arrested to people dad coached in football to students of the high school dad was the resource officer for. With all the floods of people came so many stories.. stories that I would have never heard, people that I would have never met. As we walked out of the church behind the casket to go to the cemetery I remember feeling blessed amongst the sadness that still lingered. As we drove I tried to processes everything that I had been told. Bryan shared with me some of things people told him.. it was a really sweet moment. We turned the corner to the cemetery that was just down the road and to the left there were two men standing at the new memorial under flags that were being flown half mast saluting as we drove by.. an image that will stay with me forever.

Dad was buried with full honors, gun salute and all. It was a wonderful way to honor my dads life.. I know he would have been proud!

The first year after dads death was the absolute hardest. Two weeks after the funeral Bryan and I moved to Louisville, KY to start our life together. We thought this was close enough to my family but still where we needed to be. We celebrated our 1st anniversary, started new jobs, became a full time seminary couple, and officially lived on our own. WOW was this a wake up call.. I remember existing, but not really living. Those first 6 months were some of the darkest moments of my life. It didn't take long to realize that I was having a hard time with all the new things in my life and trying to process them after such a traumatic life experience all at the same time.. God placed my dear friend Cheri in my life right at the right time. She would sit in the break room at work with me and just listen to me tell her about all the things that were plaguing my brain. The way I was feeling, that sadness that was so deep and hurtful, the guilt I felt for feeling that way because I knew God and knew that my dad was with God yet it hurt so bad. She was my therapy. I then would go home and wait for Bryan and when he would arrive I would be in bed... with my eyes closed, not asleep, just eyes closed. He would come in and sweetly kiss my forehead and tell me he loved me and ask if there was anything he could do for me. I would just say, "no and I love you too". Deep down I remember wishing there was something he could do. Some way he could take all the hurt away and just let me be the wife I wanted to be and knew God had created me to be, but God had other plans. I had to go through these moments to fully understand what God had planned for me.

In the midst of all the sadness, hurt, helplessness, despair, and a tons of other feelings God was doing some serious work in my life. I sought counseling to help me process all of my feelings and in that I caught a glimpse of why God took dad. As I stated earlier, my dad was my rock and strength.. all things that are great to have in a father daughter relationship, yet it hindered my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I relied on my dad to to help me, to figure things out for me, to get me out of hard times. He was who put my trust in.. I knew that no matter what I did, even things that hurt him he would always love me and welcome me back with open arms, no questions asked. Even though this was a great example for any child it stopped there.. it did not filter over to my relationship with my Lord and Savior.

I remember being on the phone with my mom or sister talking about how we were feeling, or how we got threw that day and it just hit me. God made my dad's life a living example of what true unfailing love is. A living example of what God did for me when he gave His Son's life to save mine. I never realized before but I when I was in a time of trouble I would go to my dad when I should have been going to God. I always said that dad would give his life for one of his children and in this tragic event in my life he did.. I know that God had and has amazing things planned for my life. Things that would not have happened had God allowed my dad to stay with us here. It was by God taking my dad, at the exact moment he did, that we are all were we are.

I still feel sad from time to time when I miss my dad.. but it is a sadness that is quickly relieved by the comfort of knowing that we are going to see one another again.. It is relieved by knowing that there is greater purpose for his death, one that involves God's call on my life. A life that now allows me to fully be the women God created me to be.

As sad as I feel when the anniversary of my dad's death approaches each year, I still know that it was just all part of God's great plan. When I think about the song Chris Tomlin sings, "God of this City" I am reminded of that... Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this City.... I am thrilled to be a part of that!

I love you Dad...

Feeling inspired...

2010-07-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

I started blogging when we moved here to Paducah over a year and a half ago to give the people we left a glimpse into our new life. I did pretty good for a while but quickly found my new life too busy to keep up with it all. I had some people tell me that they really enjoyed reading about what went on so I thought I would try to pick it up again. Well, that new motivation didn't last long but recently God has really been doing a lot in mine and Bryan's lives. Our kids are getting involved in sports and dance and all the things that I have dreamed of. Along with that I have some friends that have been blogging about things that have been going on in their lives. Everything from weight loss, to pregnancy, to children being diagnosed with Autism... so I have felt inspired to share the little blessing that God has bestowed on our family. It may not be something that everyone would feel is "blog worthy" but it is changing our lives and that to me is worth sharing with the ones that love us most. So, I look forward to sharing these things with you and hope you enjoy reading about them.

So much to be thankful for...

2009-11-17T15:00:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for my God's decision to sacrifice His Son for my sin so that I may live eternally as a child of God..

2. for God choosing Bryan for ME... I feel blessed everyday that I have him as my husband!

3. I can not imagine my life without my Brody... He has brought such JOY into my life.. I read this on someone's status the other day, "God must have thought highly of me to bless me with my children".. I could not have said it better.. God must have thought SO highly of me to bless Bryan and I with Brody... his is so special and makes me a proud mommy everyday!

4. My baby girl Aubry. The moment of her birth the Dr. yelled "She is beautiful!", and she was and still is.. just the most precious, and a little sassy, girl I know. Mother daughter relationships are so special. I think about my relationship with my mom and pray that for Aubry and I. She is the light in her daddy's eyes and the joy in my heart. I am a special mommy to have her in our life.

5. My Dad.. As parents our job is to set the stage for what our children's relationship should be with our God. Dad's death 6 years ago made me realize who God had created me to be. God took my dad and gave me purpose! It's the hardest thing I have gone through in my life but I wouldn't change it. It gives me the opportunity to share with my children that you can love somebody not present! For this I am Thankful!

6. My Mother.. I wouldn't be the mother I am today if it hadn't been for the example I had as a child. My mom was all I ever wanted to be "when I grew up". She demonstrated faith, love, guidance, and patience all situations. I have never heard her give her testimony but I have lived it and it is one of great FAITH in times of turmoil. I feel so blessed to have the relationship that I do with my mom. I love you!

7. My siblings.. I have an older brother, Kyle, and a younger sister, Katie. We are only 2 years apart so you can imagine we were each others playmates growing up. I have so many memories of us "entertaining" one another. sometimes we fought, sometimes we laughed so hard stuff came out our nose, sometimes we got hurt (and we would laugh) but all in all they are the best bro & sis a girl could have!

8. I am thankful and blessed that Bryan and I are apart of the leadership at HWC. I can not imagine a better place to raise our children. They are surrounded by LOTS PKs that I know will be life long friends, not to mention the other pastors and pastors wives that have become dear friends to Bryan and I. God is doing some amazing things at HWC...

9. My marriage.. People get married everyday, but it takes more than vows to make a marriage. It takes God, strength, understanding, patience, communication, and selflessness, to name a few. Bryan and I don't have the "perfect" marriage because we are not perfect, but God gives us the strength and example to make it as perfect as we are able. I am so thankful for that!

10. God has given me amazing friends In each season of my life some of which have been there and known me since grade school, some helped me overcome extreme sadness and greif, some helped me in the most exciting season of life.. the birth of my babies, others helped me become aquainted to a new "home town" by showing love and understanding.. for all those people I am thankful!

11. I am Thankful for our Military! I well up with pride when they are honored. They have such an important job, one that sometimes goes unnoticed. So what a gift to have a whole day set aside to show our appreciation to them. So today I say THANK YOU to all of the soldiers and their families for all you sacrifice..

12. So thankful knowing that when I am faced with "life" I can turn to God for peace. I have a tendency to let anxiety and worry get the best of me. Life is not easy, there are always going to be situation arise that make me feel "anxious" or "worried" so knowing God is bigger than that gives me the PEACE and HOPE I need. His eye is on the sparrow and know He watches me!

13. When you get married you are getting the whole family. I am happy to say that my in-laws are among some of the BEST. They are just very caring christian people that I am proud to call my family. They raised Bryan with such tender care that I know that is why he is the way he is today. Not to mention Brody and Aubry are crazy about them too! They love their P-Paul and Na Na! So thankful for them..

14. I have been gone all day involved in an Art Show put on to benefit Starfish Orphan Ministries. Local artist were invited to come and sell their "craft" to raise funds for the ministry. So, I have to say that today I feel very thankful that I am able to use my gifts to benefit others and help my family as well.

15. Today Aubry and I are sick.. boo :( So I am home with she and Brody and miss being at HWC. It is so nice to be in a place of worship! I have to say that I feel very thankful today that I have the freedom of worship! I can not imagine living somewhere that denied me that right. Thank you God for that freedom.

16. I think it is amazing that a movie, 70 years old, has the ability to keep a child's attention! I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to make these memories with my children. Sometimes we just need to stop and enjoy the little things... Like "The Wizard of Oz"!

17. I am so Thankful that God gave Bryan and I the ability to for me to be a stay-at-home Mom! It is something we felt very called to do and I cherish each second of it. Now granted there are times that are stressful, I call them my "Calgon, take me away" moments :) but I would not change it for the world! We are so blessed!

Aubry's 2nd birthday

2009-10-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Aubry's 2nd birthday in August.. we had such a great time with family and friends! Here are some pictures of that day...

Let me catch you up....

2009-10-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

The last few months have been filled with tons of things... here are some of the highlights since my last blog entry (forever ago)!
In May we had our annual family vacation. My mom, sister, brother and his wife and two boys along with us went to Newport, RI and enjoyed a week of history, cool weather, and family time.. It is precious to keep the "family vacation" alive.

Check out our latest blog update on our website.....

2009-03-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

All Those Curls...

2009-03-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY...

2009-02-28T13:01:00.000-08:00

The Phelps Family

2009-02-21T11:39:00.000-08:00

I updated our website...check it out!
http://web.me.com/bryan.khara.phelps/Site/Welcome.html

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T12:43:00.000-08:00

Check out my little Love Bugs!!!

At least we had some fun!!!

2009-02-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

So we are now at my mothers and trying to cope under the circumstances. We are enjoying getting to visit with friends and family but are feeling the affects of being away from home for so long. We have been without power for a full 7 days now and are not sure when we will get it back.

The Nattional Guard, including my brothers group, are in Paducah trying to help with whatever it is they can do. We are so thankful for the help but just want "our" life back.

At my moms instead of ice, they got SNOW....and lots of it! The kids got to go out and play in it and had a great time. Here are some of the pictures...hope you enjoy!

The Latest....

2009-01-30T15:26:00.000-08:00

As I listen to the news talk about the devastation in Paducah I am so thankful we are here in Fulton. Just a minute ago I heard them say that there are people that had power and now have lost it again...I don't think I could handle that.
They are basically telling people to leave their homes there and find shelter because the temp. is going to get so cold tonight. Paul, Bryan's dad, said that he has never in his lifetime seen it so bad. It is really scary.
I really feel for my kids. They are ready to be in there house, even though it is still new. They know something is up and are showing it in their actions. We were all stir crazy today so we went to Wal-mart...Brody was so excited. As we were walking to the car Bryan and I agreed we wished we had stayed home...It was crazy! I will be glad when we can start to get settled. It seemed like we were almost there and then this happened. I do know it could have been worse so I am thankful, but still, it is frustrating.
Anyway, just keep praying those of you who are. I really appreciate it. Pray for Bryan as he prepares to preach Sunday night unless the church loses power again. As before, I will keep you posted.

Winter Storm 2009

2009-01-29T10:01:00.000-08:00

So we have survived so far. It has been scary at times. Just to give you an update.
We had power until 10:00 p.m. Tuesday night. I had just kicked up the heat so we could hold some warmth for a while. Bryan and I sat up the night and listened to the trees fall around us...that was scary. It almost sounded like a war zone with gun fire in the background. We woke up off and on through the night, we were all in bed together.
We stayed in Paducah until about 3:30 p.m. Wednesday. The house had dropped to about 55 degrees. We chipped the van out of ice, managed to get around the millions of trees and branches in the driveway. I had packed some warm things for us all, Bryan had packed a cooler with food to save from the fridge and we loaded the kids not really knowing where we were going.
As we left the subdivision we realized the destruction was everywhere. We thought we would go and get some gas but quickly heard on the radio that there was only one gas station in Paducah with gas and it was in the opposite direction we were going. So we drove on and thought we would just thaw out a little bit then go home but then heard there was a curfew in town and we had almost reached it.
So with nothing to lose and enough gas to get to Fulton we headed that way. We didn't know if Bryan's parents had powered but prayed they did and figured if they didn't we would at least be with family and not in a "still strange" house.
We got here and found that they did not have power but that P Paul had gotten the gas logs to work in the fire place so there was warmth. He also had a generator so we had some light and the bare necessities...coffee according to Bryan and his mother :)
As I sat there last night and in a day dream thought about what could be I was saddened. I quickly snapped out of that day dream by the laughter of my kids playing, so happy and warm! I wanted to cry because it could have been so bad but once again God, the Protector and Father, had once again taken care of his children.
Last night the kids had fallen asleep and we were all getting ready for bed and Paul and Rene' came over to where Bryan and I were sitting and we prayed together. I was so peaceful and made me realize just how blessed I am.
I started to think about the many things I am thankful for but just to name a few....Bryan's mom for her gift of hospitality, Bryan's dad for his gentle spirit, kind heart, love for his family and Gods gift to take care of them, My husband for loving his wife and children and taking care of us, and my mom and sister for their prayer and love for us.
So until next time....Pray!

Too precious...

2009-01-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

Heartland Worship Center is a wonderful place that has so many opportunities for my children. One thing that I have been able to take full advantage of is the nursery which is run by one of the BEST women I have met in a long time....as she said, I feel like we have known each other forever. So since our move the kids have been frequenting the nursery program...alot! We go on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Mother's day out on Mondays, Tuesday bible study, Wednesday night church, and then once a month we have date night on Thursday.

So as you can imagine this is a lot for any child but even more for my kids, those of you that know me well understand (they are not away from me a whole lot). Anyway, Aubry has adjusted just fine. She screams for about 30 seconds and then she is fine. Brody on the other hand has had a little harder time. He starts crying about an hour before we leave, then when we get there, and sometimes off and on the whole time he is the nursery. But he is staying and does manage to have fun and not cry. Up until last night I wondered how long this would last. Would he ever go in the room without crying? Would he stop crying long enough to ever meet new friends? Would he ever not want to be with me? These questions lingered in my head as I went to pick them up after church last night. I approached the room quietly and then peered in before announcing my arrival and he was actually PLAYING....with another little boy. The teacher said, "Brody your mommy is here." He turned around and came running over to me. He was so happy to see me. I glowed!

But the true reward was on our way home. As we drove, it was quiet, I knew he was thinking. In his quiet little voice he said, " Mommy always comes back." I replied, "Yes Brody I will, ALWAYS. I am so proud of you for being a big boy. That make me happy." And then he said something that amazed me. It amazed me because It seemed so deep for a just turned 3 year old. "Mommy, he said, I did have fun!?!", almost concerned sounding. I paused and said, "You know it is ok to have fun..right?" "Yes", he said, "I know."

And that was that. How precious. He is getting too big, too fast. He wasn't my baby boy last night...he was my big boy and I am so proud!

Visit our website....

2009-01-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

http://web.me.com/bryan.khara.phelps/Site/Welcome.html

Bath Time Fun....

2009-01-13T18:52:00.000-08:00

Well the kids had their fist bath in the rental house....just kidding!
Just having a good time with our nightly bath! So cute...had to take some pictures!
In the midst of the bath they discovered the sliding door and we had some pee pie FUN!

Getting Adjusted...

2009-01-12T12:08:00.001-08:00

All the boxes are moved and most are unpacked. It has been an exciting week for the Phelps family. Here is our story.....and we’ll stick to it!
It all started last Saturday as we moved all our belongings on to our driveway in Mount Vernon. We said “see ya later” (not goodbye) to loved ones and friends and loaded up 3 trailers and the van and set off to start our new normal in Paducah, KY.
The kids have done GREAT!!!! I was truly worried about how they would adjust but as we know prayer works and they have done just fine.
Bryan and I are great as well. We had our first date with the church staff Thursday night, yes the kids actually stayed with sitters at the church, and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
Now, the rental house on the other hand leaves much to be desired. Well, it isn’t all that bad. We are so blessed to have a house and not an apartment, and we are so thankful for that but it has had it’s problems and has made our first week one we not forget....ever! The basement has flooded, the dishwasher leaks, the light in the basement sounds like it could start a fire at any minute....it makes me laugh now when I think about it all. But even in the midst of it all we still feel the peace of knowing we are where God wants us and feel blessed and fulfilled. The message on Sunday was so encouraging and just confirmed again that our visions are one in the same. God is So Good!
As we continue to settle in we are excited about this journey God has called us to. This is truly a place where life long friends will be made and a place where we will add to the list of people that have blessed our lives.

2009-01-12T12:08:00.000-08:00

Almost moving day....

2009-01-01T12:50:00.001-08:00

Well, most of the boxes are packed. We have said goodbyes to most everyone and we have less than two days left in Mount Vernon. Again I have mixed emotions but feel so excited about our new journey.

God is so good and just today we have witnessed a positive in our leaving First Baptist. People that have felt called to work with our youth but haven't for what ever reason now fell compelled to step out and lead....such a blessing!

We are so excited about all the visitors we will see this summer and look forward to frequent updates from Mount Vernon. We have promised to stay in touch and keep everyone updated with us. Until next time...

Khara

A New Normal....

2008-12-19T13:37:00.000-08:00

As of January 3rd we will be moving to Paducah KY. We are very excited and look forward to starting our new normal. As I sit back and think about our move I am filled with emotion. They are mixed emotions: sadness for leaving dear friends, anxious about moving to a new place and all that in-tells. Out-weighing those feelings though are the feelings of pure joy for being nearer to Bryan's family, absolute peace for being in God's will, and excitement for the opportunities our ministry will have there.

The things that transpired leading up to this disecsion to move where something only of God himself. When Bryan first told me about Heartland Worship Center I wasn't exactly excited, not sure why, I just wasn't. Maybe the idea of going somewhere other than KY was to overwhelming... and appealing. But as I saw Bryan's heart and asked for God to give us direction I soon realized that Paducah just might be our new home.

The interview process was so Spirit lead. Bryan came away from that feeling so positive, and things just went uphill from there. It seemed that God just laid a path down for us and we just had to trust Him and follow that.....and we have!

We can't express enough how excited we are to be a part of Heartland Worship Center and the new journey God has for us there.

Heartland Worship Center

Where we will be living (temporarily!)

Moments with a 3 year old....

2008-12-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

My dear little boy Brody is so full of life. He never ceases to make me laugh. Just the other day we were enjoy a "nutritious" meal at McDonald's and the lady that keeps the dining room came over and began to carry on a conversation with Brody. The conversation went as follows:

Brody: "My name is Brody, and this is my sister Aubry."

Lady: "That's nice. Have you been a good boy this year."

Brody: "Yes..."

Lady: "Is Santa coming to your house on Christmas?"

Brody: "No....Santa Clause is coming to town!"

So funny! I just love that little guy....

2008-12-17T13:11:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas

2008-12-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

It's hard to believe that Christmas is almost a week away. As is approaches I am reminded of how truly blessed I am. My children are healthy, beautiful and growing everyday. Bryan and I are more in love everyday and feel so excited about Gods direction in our life. Wow!

Christmas is a time to remember the birth of our Lord and Savior and what a beautiful gift God gave us through him. I hope each of you have a blessed Christmas and New Year.

Brody and Aubry

2008-12-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

Brody at Halloween as

Batman

Aubry following in her

Mommy's foot steps

My little man!

My baby girl!

This is my first post so I thought I would talk about one of my favorite things....my kids!

Brody is quickly approaching 3, Oh my gosh....it doesn't seem possible. He is getting smarter and sassier everyday!

My little Aubry is so girly. She is a little mommy, loves her babies. Such a joy and blessing.

Hope you enjoy the pictures, and more blogs to come.